Hardly, Strictly Barefoot

I'll admit I look ridiculous.  I'll concede that it's a craze. I know it seems nuts.  But I don't care.  I know that I'm right and I want the world to know it:  I'm a believer, a full-fledged subscriber to the barefoot movement! 

That felt good.  But I should clarify: not totally barefoot, per se.  More accurately, I'm a full convert to the Vibram FiveFinger shoe movement.  You know, those weird looking booties that look like aqua-socks with individual slots for each toe.  The Foot Glove.  I know you've seen them.  I know you've had to do a double-take upon seeing these things for the first time.  I'm sure you've been confused, you've probably scoffed.  What the hell is... that...  guy doing?  What on earth is he running in? He looks ridiculous!  

I know because that was my initial reaction.  My reaction was easily explained away in my mind though: fucking crazy San Francisco.  My sheltered eyes see something shocking at least once a week though, so I didn't think much of the booties after my initial spotting a few years ago.  Not until I stumbled across a book. 

ReBorn to Run

I saw it resting on my brother's bookshelf in his Washington, D.C. apartment.  "Born to Run, by Christopher McDougall" read the book's spine.  I didn't even need to pull the book off the shelf.  I knew.  I had to read this book. 

I had just written about my first Xterra Triathlon experience a few months prior.  But I had never read someone else's first-hand account of running, biking, or swimming.  So I craved a book that spoke about this.  I hardly knew anything about the book, but I wanted inspiration - for my training as well as my writing.  I wanted to see how much there was to learn.  I longed for an example of what a real work of talent, transcribed from first-hand experience, really looks like.  I wanted to absorb.  I hoped to think about running in a new way, and to think about writing about running in a new way.  But I couldn't anticipate what happened next.   

I devoured the book to and from work on the train everyday.  McDougall's tone, pace and subject matter immediately pulled me in.  All of the sudden I couldn't wait for my over-stuffed, forever frustrating train ride home everyday.  McDougall was funny, humble, and had an amazing story to tell.  I became so engrossed in the book and the story that I didn't realize how, after each day of commuting and reading, McDougall was slowly chipping away at everything I thought I knew about running.  

One trip on the train and my mind is far away in a mysterious canyon in Mexico, the next ride home its analyzing a study by Harvard scientists.  One chapter I'm following a group of colorful ultra-marathon distance runners on a quest to put together a race in Mexico, the next I'm learning about the author's 6'4'', 240 lb frame and propensity for running-induced injury.  One minute I'm reading about a remarkable tribe in the canyons of Mexico who can run the distance of New York to Detroit non-stop, the next I'm reading a study telling me that running shoes are dangerous.

Dangerous?  What?  There's nothing wrong with running shoes, right?  How could there be?  Everyone wears running shoes.  Just so long as you change them out every six months?  You have to make sure there's enough gel in those soles, don't you?  

Nope, the book slams you with another study finding that you're more likely to get injured with newer running shoes than older ones.  You're better off wearing your old shoes, the shoes that are more worn down.  

Well, wait a minute.   What about yoga?  You just need to stretch to avoid injury, right?  I can still wear running shoes and...

Nope.  Same result.  Studies found that those who do yoga regularly are more likely to get injured than runners who don't.  

Shit. 

There are explanations and anecdotes.  The book swings from evolutionary explanations, physiological and muscular explanations, and historical explanations to the author's personal transition from running shoes to barefooting.   McDougall throws all sorts of stats at the reader - the rate, likelihood and inevitability of injury for runners wearing running shoes.  He describes this native tribe of Mexico who run these incredible distances, essentially barefoot.  He describes how running shoes give our feet a false sense of support, which leads to all sorts of problems: over-pronation, striking too hard, bad posture and technique.  

(I won't lay out all of the book's arguments, because I don't want to butcher the author's fantastic job of it.  But I did share a video of the author laying out some of the book's ideas in a speech that I think will give you a sense of the persuasiveness of the ideas.  Otherwise, check out the book if you can.  If nothing else, its entertaining as hell.)

It goes on and on like this.  It left me breathless, completely and utterly convinced.  I'm a third year law student.  The heart of my training is in assessing, weighing and analyzing the merit of arguments.  But this book, man this book, made me feel like I was trained in the art of unflinching, unquestioning religious fervor.  

Before long, I'd walk in my front door, and glare at my running shoes out of the corner of my eye, skeptically.  Who are you?! Traitors!  Why are you trying to hurt me?  I don't even know you anymore, I'd shout as I walked past my sad old hooves.  I felt betrayed.  

Tracy must have been worried because usually I'm so cautious.  I'm not one to get swept up in something so quickly.  I take my time, weigh everything, dip one toe in, then pull it out, then maybe start to slowly jump in.  But there was just something about this book.   

In fact, I know Tracy was worried.  She couldn't wait for me to finish the book.  Because, she'd say, it just sounded so good.  But what I think was really going on was that she was like a concerned parent trying to find out who this cool, eccentric new friend was who her boy was coming home and raving about everyday.  

After I finished the book and passed it on to her, it didn't take long before I realized she was just as crazy about this eccentric new friend as I was.  Literally, I handed her the book, then went into the other room to finish up some work.  Before I could even sit down at my desk, I could hear her cackling in the other room, giggling like a school girl.  Swooned immediately, just like I was. 

One week later, I was now the worried one.  She was buzzing around the apartment, more convinced of the idea than me, more convinced than I think even the author was.  We turned into the Jevhovah's Witnesses of Barefoot Running.  

Running shoes are evil!  Burn them all!  All good things come through Barefoot!  The second coming is here!  

We wanted to save everyone.  But first, we had to put our money where our mouths were.  Or rather, where are feet were. 

Sole-less

I pulled out the ruler and measured.  Okay, a size 41 it is!  I clicked on their website and found the style of Vibram that I wanted, the style that most conformed to the type of running I do.  The Treksport style, all black, was made for trail running.  Perfect.  Confirm purchase.  Now, I wait.  

My first time putting them on, I didn't want to take them off - ever.   I wanted to wear them at all times, do everything in them.  (See photos throughout.) They were so comfy.  They made me feel so athletic and prepared for anything.  Fire breaks out?  Don't worry, I can scale the side of that building and save those children and kittens.  An unplanned game involving any sort of variety of ball?  Yes please!  But I did take them off, but not before I took them for their first spin.  

 

Barefoot Lounging

Getting beyond my own uneasiness of wearing spandex in public was a huge wall to climb.  Now throw ballerina slippers into the mix and I'm totally fucked.  Where did my life take such a wrong turn?  These are my initial thoughts as I hit the trail for the first time in the Vibrams after a mountain bike ride.  

It felt less like running and more like tip-toeing and prancing through a meadow, springing from one lilly-pad to the next.  If my old football coach could only see me now.  Christ.

But a few minutes in, these self-conscious thoughts dissolve.  They are forced out by the focus that is required - the focus needed to avoid the big rocks, to land properly on the ball (or pad) of my feet, with knees bent and soft.  My toes are reaching out and gripping the dirt while I climb the hill.  My feet feel lighter than they ever have.  My knees have spring.  My calves are receiving more sensation (oh so much!) than they ever have.  My ankles, achilles, the muscles in my feet, all muscles I've never considered before, are all singing. Before long I'm completely zeroed in and engaged. 

I've been a runner for about four years, but I received more feedback from, and insight into, my body in those 30 minutes than those four years combined.  The bodily feedback and insight sang during that first run, but the singing had just begun.  The soreness after that run sang much, much louder.  I looked like I was walking around on the stilts the rest of the week, all stiff and wobbly.  I knew this would be a long process.

Barefoot Snoozing.

Its really like learning to run all over again.  I pretty much had to disregard everything I thought I knew about running.  I was humbled.  I couldn't run the distances I used to be able to do without giving it a second's thought.  A thirty-minute run became a marathon.  Running more than two times a week was suicidal.  The tension in my calves would kick in on my fifth step.  It was unreal. 

I had to consult alternate sources.  We found a book on barefoot running that had photos and examples of proper form by a self-proclaimed guru of the barefoot style, "Barefoot Ken Bob."  (Please google this guy.  Just to see the photos of him.)  My running form and posture completely changed.  My knees bent heavily, my back straightened, my feet landed on the ball, as opposed to the heel.  

Barefoot Pooping.

I continued to improve, to hurt less and run further.  But because Tracy hadn't bought her pair of Vibrams yet, she was still running at her normal distances and paces, despite removing the soles from her shoes - to try to get less support and closer to the barefoot (the truth!).  Accordingly, I wanted to keep up and get some distance in.  So every once in a while, on the weekends, I would shamefully revert back to my old hooves.   It was embarrassing, like crawling back to an old lover.  But I'd be able to keep up.  More than anything though, it made me realize how bored it is wearing running shoes.  It made me realize how numb my feet felt when wearing running shoes, how such little effort was taking place below the knee, how the thick sole of the shoes would angle my back forward and result in stiffness later. 

In other words, it made me realize how I truly am a convert to the barefoots. 

Jehovah's Footness

I can't help but feel like their uncompensated spokesperson.  When we run around in them, we often get stares, sometimes we get stopped and questioned.  (Tracy got her Vibrams about a month ago or so.  On her first run in the booties, she got real silent.  Then she looked over at me and said, "I feel like a ninja."  That's it.)  

The looks and questions from strangers range from, 1) What the fuck?, to 2) How do you like them?, to 3) I'm thinking about getting a pair.  More often the latter in the city.  

It's intimidating at first.  But we've embraced it.  We're not as fervent about saving everyone as we were initially.  But if people ask, we will share.  Or we will mock other people who run past us with wild running forms that are only enabled by running shoes and will inevitably result in injury if maintained.  We can be kind of dickish sometimes.  

I've been wanting to write this since my first run in the Vibrams.  But I wanted to wait it out, to see if I would improve, get injured, hate them, or who knows.  But after my run last Friday night - the same trail run after mountain bike ride where I had my first run in the Vibrams - I knew it was time.  It was time to share.  

Friday night was only a 45 minute trail run, but it was hands down the most remarkable running experience of my life.  Because it was so remarkable, I don't think it is worth trying to describe.  I will just leave it at this.

When it comes to the barefoot craze: Believe the Hype.  But be patient. 

A Milestone Meets a Creature

I can feel him hovering, staring.  I can see him out of my periphery.  I can hear him dripping water everywhere.  But I don't want to look over.  

"Heyy," his voice booms a deep baritone.  I'm forced to look over.  "Do you know where to get the towels?" he asks.  He's huge.   He's plump.  He's a replica of the principal from Ferris Bueller's Day Off.  He's totally nude, facing me square on.  

"Uh, uh, yes uh, yes I do," I respond, stuttering.  "They are outside of the locker room, past the ellipticals, and to the right of the stairs," I say, trying to keep my eyes zeroed in on the inside of my locker.  "Oh, thanks," he says, seemingly understanding. 

I try to end my thoughts of this guy and the encounter right there and get back to my pleasant post-swim thoughts.  And I do, but only momentarily.  I'm good for a few seconds as I wrap everything up.  But as I button my last button, lace up my shoes and put my goggles and speedos back in my locker, he scurries off.  He's no longer in our row of lockers.  

Wait.  Does this mean?  No. It can't be.  Surely he brought his own towel.  He was just asking for future reference, right?  

I throw my bag over my shoulder, take a quick glance in the mirror and turn the corner, exiting the one of about six rows of lockers.  

There he is.  Standing in front of the full length mirror is my new friend, still dripping water everywhere.  But now he's not totally nudie.  He's back in his blue speedo.  I keep my head down as I walk past him and out of the locker room, avoiding eye contact - not just eye-to-eye contact, but most importantly, avoiding (my) eye-to-(his) body contact.  I fly through the locker room doors and out into the bustling arena of ellipticals.  

Walking through the long runway of workout machines, I have this unshakable premonition of what's about to happen.   I don't even have to turn around to know.  As I get about fifteen yards from the locker room and into this long stretch of a runway filled with bored people on stationery machines, I know what's happening behind me.  Their eyes tell all.  Their eyes expand to the size of golfballs.  I hear laughter.  I even hear a shriek.  

When I get to the towel station I throw my towel in the bin in exchange for my student ID card.  I tell the woman my last name and she spins around to retrieve my card. She searches, finds it, turns back around, and looks up.  Her eyes shift from me to somewhere behind me.  Her eyes become twin moons.  She freezes abruptly, then recovers, regains her composure and hands me the ID card.  I put the card in my wallet, take a deep breath and braced myself for what I already know is there.  The creature from the blue lagoon.  

Yesterday marked a major milestone for me.  In the just-over-one-year anniversary of my relationship with my speedo, I took our relationship to a new level.  

Yesterday, I swam a full mile straight without stopping.  It wasn't planned.  It just sort of happened.  But as I thought about it afterwards, I couldn't believe it.  I swam a full mile non-stop in 35 minutes.  I realize I'm not going to break any records or anything.  Nor do I have any ambitions of being a fast or great swimmer for that matter.  What amazed me was not so much the accomplishment, but the accomplishment in relation to where I started.  

When I first started swimming in August of last year, it took all of my strength just to get to the other end of the pool.  I'd be so winded and gassed by the time I got to the other side that I would have to break for a solid minute or so before I could give it another go.  But I kept getting better.  Every time I jumped in the pool, I'd improve from the last swim.  I'd go from one lap then break, to two laps in a row, then four!, then five!, and so on.  It was exciting.  I remember the first time I did nine laps in a row (quarter mile) without stopping.  I felt like a fish!  

For the past seven months or so, however,  I've been in a rut.  Once I hit the half-mile mark, I got complacent.  I'd do the same thing every swim: half-mile nonstop, ten minutes of kickboard, some breaststroke, then stare down the clock until 50 minutes have passed.  I stopped setting goals.  My swims started feeling like a trip to the store: get in, get it done, flee the scene quickly.  

Yesterday started out in similar fashion.  I wasn't looking forward it.  But a few laps into the swim, something kicked in. And it kicked in hard.  

I couldn't figure why there was this new flame under my ass.  Is it the new coffee that Tracy bought that's been lighting me up all week?  Is it my cousins taunting me with their constant postings of their impressive running mileage and fast times?  Or maybe it's because I haven't been able to run as far lately due to the Vibrams, so I'm compensating in the pool?  No, maybe its this environment - this packed pool, the circle swim lanes that provide the energy of a triathlon, the weirdos in the lanes next to me doing wild synchronized dances at the bottom of the pool, looking like exotic bottom-feeder fish.  

I sprang out of the pool after the 35 minute mile and stood on solid ground.  I was amped.  I wobbled as I gathered my things and headed for the shower.  I felt drunk, but a good drunk.  

I'm back at my locker when I realize that this is exactly what I needed.  I needed to bring back that initial excitement to swimming.  I needed to get out of my rut.  I needed to shake things up and get over the feeling of plateau.  What made me so excited about swimming initially was the constant change, the improvement in performance as well as physique.  The feeling of uncertainty and excitement.  The feeling of never quite knowing what was going to happen the next time I jumped in the pool.  How many laps can I do this time?  What technique am I going to learn during the swim?  How much water will I choke on this week?  

Feeling content, I finish this thought about my new excitement and uncertainty re swimming.  I'm almost finished packing up my stuff when I hear dripping water and a deep baritone, "Heyy..."

The excitement is back in full force.  Or rather, in full frontal. 

A Well-Oiled Machine, Or Somewhere in the Middle

If it wasn't clear before, it's clear now: I have no idea what I'm doing.  

If my incompetence wasn't clear after my whole "flat tire debacle" in the Tahoe City Xterra Triathlon in June, it's impossible to deny after Saturday.  

Tracy and I were on our typical Saturday trail ride - Fairfax, Marin County, Mt. Tam loop.  We love this ride.  In fact, we are so fond of this ride that it's pretty much the only one we do.  Last year, we bought a book on mountain biking in Northern California.  This Fairfax trail is one of the first we read about.  We've done others, but we always come crawling back home to Tam. It has everything you want in a ride: solid climbs, thrilling descents, breathtaking views, changing landscape, friendly riders, plenty of sun.  It's perfect.  But I digress.

It's about 4:30 pm when we unload the bikes from our new bike rack, gear up, and hop on the saddle.  We're like cooped up pups breaking free and chasing down the tennis ball in the park.  By the end of the week, we need this.  We hit the trail and start our climb.  As the incline increases, I'm forced to adjust gears to ease up the resistance.  This is standard procedure.  But as the hill steepens, something starts happening.  

"Clunk, chink, chank! Ggggrrr... Ka Clunk, Ka Chook, Chink!" 

What is going on?!  Coming from my pedals is the sound of mini fireworks exploding.  With each pedal stroke, the crackle of a small explosion follows.  Oh this is horrible.  This is... This is... just horrible.  

It's my chain.  It's hiccuping every other time I pedal. It's more frustrating than a scratched CD skipping every 5 seconds.  Each time it hiccups it feels like the floor is coming out from under me. 

It's my chain.  It's drier than the Prohibition.  A cactus has received more love and affection than my bike chain.  And now, it's protesting.  It doesn't want to ride today.  I understand.  Why should it?  I have abused and neglected it.  I have failed to supervise.  Failed to set up proper and timely services.  If my bike was appointed an attorney in bicycle welfare proceedings, my bike would be removed from my custody immediately, with all parental rights terminated.  It would be in a new home, with a new caregiver - one that would provide for all of it's needs.  This all dawns on me as Tracy and I are only ten minutes into our ride.  We realize there's no way I can continue.  My chain is in desperate need of oil.  And neither of us have any.  I dribble some water on it from my bottle.  This just seems to make things worse.  The grinding sounds even louder.  We decide to turn around.  That's it.  Ride's over.  

I'm fuming as we sail back down the hill.  45-min drive for nothing.  But Tracy's not as pessimistic.  She seems to think that someone back in the parking lot might have some oil.  Right.  

We're back in the parking lot in just a few minutes.  Before I can unclench my jaw, Tracy is a few cars down approaching a plumb middle-aged man in a Chelsea Futbol jersey.  He's getting out of his minivan.  He already has his helmet on.  It makes him look like a six-foot mushroom with an overgrown stem (his body).  Oh, God.  That guy?  Really?  You think that guy is going to have some spare oil?  That guy?!  The only way that guy could help us out is if we were in a crisis where the solution involved needing to find the nearest pub or brawtwurst.   

I can hear the guy say something as he opens the back of the van.  His Irish accent confirms my hunch regarding his pub-finding abilities.  But before I can bask in my stereotype victory, I hear Tracy saying, "Oh! Thank you so much!"  She skips over to me with a poised, self-satisfied smirk across her face, can-o-oil in hand.  I lift my jaw off the ground.  

Five minutes later, my chain is greased up and ready to ride.  Wow.  

I'd like to say that the rest of the ride was perfect and hiccup free.  But it wasn't.  My chain still rebelled a few times.  But I was able to get through the ride.  That's all that I needed.  My mind swirled for the next two hours on the trail.  

When it comes to mountain biking, I'm somewhere in the middle.  On the sliding scale of mountain bike obsession/interest - where on one extreme is the obsessed triathlete-bike-mechanic-devotee, and on the other is the person who owns a bike and rides a few times a year - I'm right in the middle.  If anything I probably tilt more toward the less obsessed side of the scale.   And that's not because I don't love it.  I do.  Mountain biking is one of my favorite things in the world.  But what keeps me from tilting toward the totally obsessed side of the scale is my total lack of care of my bike - and lack of interest in bike care.  I wish this weren't so.  I wish I looked at my bike as something worthy of my time and care.  I wish I was fascinated by it's mechanics, it's function.  I want to be!  I've read Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance!  I want to relish in the spiritual bliss of man's two-way relationship with technology, our symbiotic relationship with machines!  But I'm not there yet.  And this chain incident, the flat tire incident, it all shines a spotlight on this.  

There's an insecurity when you're somewhere in the middle.  I can't brush off my ignorance as a dabbler can.  It's harder to be humble about my lack of knowledge.  It's complicated.  When I don't really care about something, or don't spend much time doing it, then it's easier to ask for help, it's easier to laugh at yourself.  Your fumbles during your first few weeks of a new job are excusable, but those same mistakes two years later aren't.  You don't take yourself seriously when you're a novice or newbie - your ignorance is expected.  But when you spend every weekend doing something - when you've completed triathlons riding on that something! - and yet you really know nothing about what you're doing, well, it's hard to swallow.  Because you know that you should know what, in fact, you do not know. And to compensate for being in this middle zone, there's this part of me that wanted to shout at the Irish guy, "I've done two triathlons!"  But I didn't.  Thankfully.  

But the other extreme is scary too.  It's intimidating.  You know, the extreme cyclists you see on the weekends and early morning weekdays.  The full spandexed, the full-body shaved, the totally obsessed.  The one's that size up your bike and calves simultaneously as they ride past.  They make me nervous.  It's not easy to tap into this world.  I've walked into bike shops where I've felt more unsure about myself than a high-school freshman at a dance.  I've felt more comfortable discussing car problems with a mechanic.  It's intimidating.  There's so much I don't know.  There's so much to learn.  

Why haven't I taken the time to learn about my bike and to care for it properly?  I've treated my bike as if it were a pair of running shoes, throwing it in the closet the minute I get home, not looking for it until it's time to ride.  How can I expect it to perform when called upon, despite it not receiving necessary nourishment? It's not right.  

This negligence runs counter to most aspects of my life.  Of recent, it runs counter to my new project - barefoot running. [I plan on writing about my humbling, excruciating and exciting transition to running in Vibram FiveFinger barefoot shoes in my next post].   

The most compelling idea behind barefoot running is it's natural connectedness to our bodies (our machines).  We've evolved over thousands and thousands of years.  We've done so well in the evolutionary game because we ran - and of course due to other reasons, such as social ability.  But we ran and ran and ran.  All without Nikes, amazingly.  Running without supported shoes is how our machines were initially made.  Our feet receive nourishment from contact with the soil.  Our running form takes proper shape when we discard the hoofs.  We're more engaged and focused when we run barefoot.  We sustain less injuries.  We have more fun.  

Maybe this is what will happen when I decide to take a look under the hood of my bike.  I'll feel more connected to this machine that brings me so much joy.  Maybe I'll get more out of my biking experience; and my bike will get more out of me. 

Or maybe I won't.  If I do learn all these new things about my bike, and begin caring for all of my bike's needs, would I have experienced my flat in my last tri?  Or would we have experienced the kindness of this Round Pint of Guiness in the minivan?  Probably not. 

Maybe I'll continue to ignore and dismiss my bike's needs.  That way I'll still have something to write about.

Pay It Forward

"Pay it forward: When someone does a good deed for you, instead of paying them back, pay it forward by doing a good deed for someone else." - Urban Dictionary 

My watch reads 1:26 when the record stops, when my world stops spinning.  My pedal stroke slows down to the point of non-movement as I can no longer climb.  I step off my bike.  It's over.  I'm done. 

My heart slows down with each breath I take while off the bike.  I'm alone in the middle of nowhere, a thousand feet high in the Tahoe mountains.  Well, I'm not totally alone.  There are the other hundred or so racers in front of and behind me.  But at this moment I couldn't feel more alone.  Just me, the seemingly endless trail, the fifty-foot tall trees and the cheering (or laughing, I'm not sure) birds.  I look down at my bike and see the damage.  The flat is worse than I imagined.  There's not a puff of air left in my back tire.  The tire looks the way I feel: deflated, dejected, embarrassed.  What do I do? 

Well, you fucking fix the flat, I hear you saying.  Yes, in theory that is what a person does.  "Problem: Flat tire; Solution: fix the flat."  Not that hard, right?  But what do you do when you've never fixed a flat in your life?  Not once, not never.  Not a bike tire, car tire, nothing.  What then?  And next, what do you when you're in the middle of a triathlon and don't have any equipment to fix said flat?  No spare tube, no pump, no tools.  Nothing.  Zero.  You're Grade A Fucked is what you are.  Or at least that's what I thought...

The race had been going so well up till this point - until this hour and twenty sixth minute.  The swim was freezing, but I felt confident throughout.  My face was frozen but I actually achieved what could objectively pass as swimming.  I was proud of this considering my first triathlon I frantically flopped like an otter in a pool of watered down ice for the half-mile.  This time, the lake was clear - I could actually see the bottom.   And I had a ton of space.  I wasn't the kid at the bottom of the dog-pile.  I could spread out and kick.  But most importantly, I could swim next to Tracy, who was jumping into her first triathlon.  

I was excited to be able to swim next to her, for both comfort and pacing.  She has always kicked my ass in the pool, so I figured if I could ride her wake I'd be in good shape.  But, due to either her pride ("I wakeboard in the Lake at this time of the year without a wetsuit!"), naivety ("the Lake can't be that cold at the end of June!") or bad advice from the moron at Sportsbasement Athletics ("I wouldn't wear a wetsuit at Tahoe in the summer"), Tracy decided to forgo renting an Ironman wetsuit.  Instead, she relied on a springsuit that she borrowed from her friend.  (If a full wetsuit is formal attire, then a springsuit is appropriate dress for Casual Friday - the teeshirt and shorts of wetsuits).  We later found out that this springsuit cost Tracy's friend a whopping $10.  (By way of comparison, it cost me $25 just to rent a full triathlon wetsuit for one week.  And to purchase one of these ironman suits is well above $250).  

As we scanned the scene on raceday, it didn't take long for us to realize that Tracy was the only one in a springsuit, everyone else was in a full Ironman suit - minus the batty nut who was practically naked in her regular swim suit.  Needless to say, Tracy was nervous and  I was worried for her.  

The gun fires and we're off.  We charge into the Lake with sights set on circling around the six-foot floating orange buoy.  It doesn't take me long to realize that Tracy is struggling.  When I roll my head to the right to take an in-breath, I notice that Tracy's a little bit behind me.  She's moving forward at a decent pace, but her head's above the water.  She's making a swim move that resembles the modified "head-above water freestyle/doggie-paddle" that I ungracefully mastered in my first triathlon.  She's freezing.  I'm cold in a full wetsuit.  She's gotta be dying.  I hang back with her and check in.  

"Are you alright, T?" 

"Fine," she quickly responds.  She knows that I know that she's an icicle.  But I also know that she won't admit that she's not okay until she was at the point of immediate doom - a result of having two older brothers who she always had to keep up with.  So I stick around.  I slow my stroke and stay with her.  

Every couple strokes, I check in.  "How you doing, T?"  "I'm alright," she says.    I know she's in pain, but I just don't know how much.  The parade of horribles dances through my icy brain: What if she doesn't make it through the swim?  All because of a shitty wetsuit!?  What if she has to quit the race?   And never wants to do triathlons again?  What about hypothermia!?  That's a real possibility, isn't it?!  

I try calming myself down by taking a few deep breaths as I stay within five feet of T.  This helps.  On my next stroke, I pull my head up to see where the buoy is.   We are within 20 yards of the big orange buoy.  I look over and notice that Trace has realized how close we are to the turning point (the buoy).  I see what somewhat resembles a smile crack through her frozen face.  I know she's going to be fine.  She's going to make it.  I stop hovering and cut loose.  (I'm not exactly sure how she felt about this.  But I'm hoping that she will get around to writing about her Tri experience here, from her perspective. Sometime soon.  Hopefully). 

Despite the freezing water, the morning was beautiful.  The sun was shining perfectly bright, not too harsh.  It thawed me out as I stood on shore and waited for T to emerge.  By the time we ran up the shore, across the street and to the transition station, we had warmed.  It kept us just warm enough throughout the ride as the lake-kissed breeze cooled us.  

My pace on the bike is a bit faster than T's - I attribute this to my tree trunked legs and the extra comfy backside saddle I carry around.  So as we climbed our first hill, as planned, we departed, thinking the next time we would see each other would be the finish line.

My first hour on the bike was nothing short of euphoric.  It was the complete opposite of my first tri. Tahoe City had wide-open trails, good steady climbs, significant downhills to fly down and forget all about your last strenuous climb.  Most importantly, there were no mudswamps.  Just solid, at times rocky trails. It was the most similar to what Trace and I typically train on.  I was feeling so good.  I was cranking up the hills and burning down them.  I was on an unhinged rollercoaster.  I was passing people - passing people! Handfuls!  I try to think of myself as only competing against myself and not others, but when I started passing people I couldn't deny the extra jolt of fuel and adrenaline this gave me.  Denying this feeling would be a denial of human nature.   We are made to compete, just as we are made to love.  

As I'm beginning to accept this untapped competitiveness, the hills start feeling harder.  The trail feels like I'm back in Folsom, rummaging through the mudswamps.  Why was that hill so damn hard?  Am I in the wrong gear?  Nope.  Right gear.  I keep climbing, unsure of what's happening.  I fly down a hill, dodge the rocks and sticks, and begin another climb.  

As I climb, I look down at my watch: one hour and twenty six minutes have passed...  The tire...  Screwed.  

I pull my bike off the trail and flip it upside down.  Man, why did it have to be the back tire?  Why?  Not only do I not know how to change a flat, I don't even know how to get my back tire off of my bike.  This serves me right.  Just the day before, Tracy's dad Dale was baffled when this embarrassing fact surfaced, this fact that I've never changed a tire and don't have the equipment to do so.   

"But what happens if you get a flat out there?" Dale asked me.  "La la la la la la.  I'm not listening!" I thought as I wanted to stick my fingers in my ears.  I was like a teenager in the mindset of invincibility - the "it won't happen to me" mindset.  

As I'm pulled off to the side of the trail, I hear what sounds like a human-sized hummingbird flying up behind me.  I quickly spin around.  The guy is a beast.  He is ripping up the hill.  He looks like a Marvel Comic Superhero with his full-bodied spandex getup, muscles made of twisted steel.  As he flies up toward me, I stand in awe, momentarily forgetting about my predicament.  He gets closer.  He breaks his rhythmic breath and asks, "You alright?"  "Yea," I quickly respond, fearing that he just saw me checking out his right calf where his age is written in Sharpie - it said 55, by the way; amazing.  He keeps pumping up the hill, keeping an eye on me out of the corner of his eye.  He takes a few more deep breaths.  He sees the flat.  "Have... any... equipment?"  he asks, sucking air.  Embarrassed, I confess I don't.  I look down at my bike and away from him, drooping my chin to my chest in solidifying shame.  

The next thing I hear is the squeak of a brake and the unzipping of a zipper.  Startled, I look up the trail to my right and see 55 off his bike, digging into a bag that is attached underneath his seat.  Then, like a blackjack dealer slinging out his cards to the sure-to-lose gambler, 55 starts flinging all sorts of stuff at me from his bag.  Before I can realize what's happening, he says to me:  

"Name's Nate Brown.  Gonna need that Co2 back.  Good luck!"  Then he vanishes.  

Co2?!  Holy shit.  Thank you, Nate Brown.  But what the hell is all this?  Okay, that's a tube.  These are two separate 6-inch plastic things that look like deformed and un-fun kid's toys.  And this, this is the 4-inch can of Co2.  But uh... But uh, what am I... supposed to do with it?  Alright, I decide, first things first.  

I still haven't gotten my back tire off.  I look down at my watch.  I'm burning time.  It's already been 5-6 minutes.  Fuck!  More and more people are passing me.  I'm reminded that I don't even know how to get my back tire off, let alone how to work any of this shit he's just thrown at me.  This feels like one of those dreams where you are being asked to perform surgery on someone without any training - all in your underwear, exposed.  I'm clueless and frantic.

Maybe if I move my bike to the other side of the trail that will help, I decide.  Maybe there's some more light over there or something?  I shuffle across the trail with my upside down bike, looking sad, both the bike and me.  I have no idea what I'm doing.  I anxiously start hitting the bike in random places.  I give it a few kicks.  I start unscrewing stuff.  I pull on things.  I'm like an infant with a block.   I feel like a chimp trying to work a computer.  

I look down at my watch.  It's been 15 minutes!  Fuck!  All the people I passed are cruising past me, with two pumped up tires in tact.  I aimlessly start hitting and pulling things harder and faster.  No help.  People keep passing and asking if I'm alright. "Ya' alright, man?" they ask.  By the tenth inquiry, my cool-under pressure response of, "yes, I'm fine, thanks,"  quickly unravels into an anxious "yes! fine!" bark.  

I'm not sure what it was, it must have been the sound of her soft maternal voice, but I finally crack when I'm asked for the 20th time if I'm alright.  I finally make the honest and uncomfortable confession to this woman, telling her that, "No, I am not, in fact, alright.  I can't get my tire off.  In fact, I don't even know how to.  I've never done it before."  

The woman says nothing, pulls over, gracefully swings her leg over the side of her bike and sets it down.  She comes over to me with a bright smile.   She goes straight for the tire.  She grabs the tire, starts twiddling the screws and the chain.   She mumbles a few things under her breath as a mechanic would at an autobody shop.  In a flash, the tire is off.  

I'm filled with so many emotions.  From excitement and gratefulness, to the feeling of total emasculation.  The woman laughs, not at me, but with me, as if she's aware of my shame, and wants to lighten the moment.  She hops back on her bike.  "Thank you so much!" I shout.  "Oh no problem.  You'll end up catching me anyway!"  she says as she rides off, displaying the number 64 (years old) on her right calf.  She was angel.  

Now the tire is off the bike.  I have so much adrenaline pumping that I practically rip off the tire from my rim and throw the old tube to the side.  I'm almost there.  I have all the equipment.  I can figure this out.  Right?  

I grab the fresh tube and the small can of Co2.  I read the three-step directions on the Co2.  Seems easy enough. I align the valve of the tube with the nozzle of the can.  But... nothing happens.  No air comes roaring out.  Nothing.  I try every possible thing I can think of to get the can to work.  But nothing.  No air.  I look down at my watch. 18 minutes have passed since 1:26.  I'm back to my chimpanzee ways.  Hitting, kicking and pulling things.  Nothing helps.  

I look back down the trail and see a sight of comfort.  It's Tracy in her purple Nike tank beaming through the trees, climbing up the hill.  I start whistling at her before she can totally see me.  

"What?! What are you doing?!  Why are you waiting for me?!"  When I explain the situation and she sees the bike, she calms down, pulls over and starts trying to help.  

She can't figure out the Co2 either.  She decides we should hassle someone for a manual pump (for reasons I'll never know, I never would've thought of that).  The next ten people that pass don't have a pump.  Things start looking bleak.  Then, as hope dwindles, we cast one more line for help.  The next guy coming up is young, handsome, super fit, and head to toe in top of the line racing gear.  He's covered in mud and hauling ass up the hill.  With shoulders slouched we ask if he has a pump.  

He smiles, "I do!" he says.  He pulls over, hops off his bike, unhitches the small pump from his bike and runs over toward us. 

"Thank you so much!" we say as we start pumping madly.  We look up and he's still standing there.  "Look, we don't want to hurt your time.  You can finish the race.  We'll find you afterwards," we offer.  "What's your name?"

"No, no.  No problem, no problem.  Exact same thing happened to me last year in this race.  Got a flat, didn't have the equipment.  Someone gave me everything I needed.  35 minutes later I was back on my bike.  No problem guys.  Pay it forward. Pay it forward.  My name's Glen." 

Ten minutes later, miraculously, Tracy, Glen and I have resuscitated the bike.  I flip the bike over and hop on the saddle.  It works!  Tracy and I are laughing hysterically as we start peddling.  We can't believe it.  We're off.   

I can't believe I'm going to finish the race. 

After that the rest of the race is a blur.  There were only a few miles left of the ride.  And the run seemed easy, even though it was straight uphill for the most part.  I felt so grateful after the tire experience that I couldn't think of the pain of the race.  It was like being given another life after being certain I was roadkill. 

The next thing I know I'm crossing the finish line.   Tracy crosses a few minutes after. 

During my first triathlon, I experienced a wave of emotions on the first few miles of the run when I was away from everything and everyone.  But this time was totally different.  I felt this wave of emotions, not when I was away from people, but with people: during the freezing swim with Tracy; on the trail when three different people decided to forego their self-interest to help a stranger out; when I saw Tracy cross the finish line.  

There's no doubt that triathlon's are individual feats and accomplishments.  But the photo of that one person crossing the finish line is only a snapshot.  It doesn't show the people who make that feat possible in this first place.  It crops out the people who helped you with your flat.  It cuts out those who get your ass out of the bed every morning and train with you everyday.  It doesn't include the person who gave you the courage to do the triathlon in the first place by signing you up for an Xterra as a Christmas gift.  It forgets those whose generosity allowed you to purchase the mountain bike in the first place. 

There's so much to pay forward.  I guess I'll start with helping the guy on my next race who's hitting his bike like a Chimp.